FGCNN INVESTIGATIVE REPORT
As the Fighting Game Community has been blessed with the releases of fighting games influenced by Japanese Animation, or "Anime", such as Guilty Gear Xrd and Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3, one sick and twisted individual has exploited these wonderful games for profit and notoriety.
Maximillian Christiansen, AKA Mash-A-Trillion, AKA CPM Jesus, AKA Max Casual has been a Youtube hit with over 100,000 subscribed fans who can't possibly understand what it's like to have unrequited love for 2D big breasted, 10 year-old waifus wearing skirts so short it might as well be a belt.
Anime rendition of Mr. Christiansen. Pure evil.
"Max is a dangerous example of inclusiveness and vibrant wholesome representation of the Fighting Game Community and must be stopped at all costs," according to KawaiiUnkoChin, an unsponsored "Anime" player. "How can we sleep with our seed-encrusted dakimakura body pillow at night knowing that this baka casual is killing our scene with his attractive, welcoming attitude using the games and characters I play and masturbate to? What am I supposed to tell the waifu? The childru?"
Community Leaders condemn the gimmick made flesh, Maximillian.
This piece of trash has been making a successful living with his honest work ethic, positivity, and desire to open up the scene to gaijin devils who are unfamiliar of our sacred anime culture, while true anime players are reduced to consuming nothing but cup ramen from Seben-Ereben. But no longer. Max and his adorable dog's days are numbered.
FGCNN has found damning evidence of his maliciousness towards the anime community and possibly humanity itself which we presented to Our Glorious Leader and Anime Illuminati founder, "Jiyuna", of Max's sister hand-groping the senpai playboy, Ryan "Gootecks" Gutierrez on a beach.
Maximillianの妹がこんなに可愛いわけがない。
After careful review of the photo, Jiyuna exploded: "HOW COULD [Christiansen] NOT WANT TO BANG HIS HOT IMOUTO (sister)?! IS HE YAOI BOYLOVE OR SOMETHING?" The outcry freed from deep within Jiyuna's Guts baited us to Burst into tears, leaving our spirits Guard Crushed. But he courageously pressed forward with the interview so that others might know the atrocities of this self employed, money-making monster/loving husband.
"We've started a campaign to stop him and his legion of happy fans from enjoying our low-selling games and flooding our empty online match lobbies. He will soon know and elpheel what we have always Elphelt... shame and ostracism!"
A victorious campaign shaming the purehearted CPM vampire dickface, Maximillian.
And we at FGCNN completely agree. Stop Maximillian by messaging him - which for now is only possible by subscribing to his channel and including your message in a donation note - and let him know the anime gaming scene is only for those who earned it by not taking showers, losing at the more difficult mainstream games and begging EVO for main stage exposure of games nobody plays year after year.
Will Mr. Christiansen ever be stopped? Who is best waifu? Tell us in a haiku below!
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COMMENTS
9 comments:
the best waifu is
a difficult choice to make,
but kirino sux
Go on Dustloop, an elitist anime community, and people worship the game like it's god's gift. But once ArcSys announces a new fighting game they're just going to drop Xrd and play the next new thing. That's why the Western playerbase for any anime game is garbage compared to Japan. No competition, and no skill is the scene in a nutshell. It's obvious that the anime FGC is only playing this game for the waifus.
Max is a baka,
Don't you dare subscribe to him!
CPM my ass.
Max cannot be stopped,
He has hype that moves mountains,
You dumb weeaboo.
What a dandy guy!
I live at mom's house,
streaming games to my limit.
What did I beg for?
the waifu question
my mind becomes crystal clear
for it is his mom
Maximillian
Is a filthy casual.
Mashiro is best.
this night i dreamed
that ogawa came to my bed
i woke up and wept
This was the need of the hour, many people make money off other popular animes by uploading them to YouTube. Almost every anime can be found on YouTube channels, not only this, you can watch anime on popular sites like kissanime.
BLOW IT UP