"Max is a dangerous example of inclusiveness and vibrant wholesome representation of the Fighting Game Community and must be stopped at all costs," according to KawaiiUnkoChin, an unsponsored "Anime" player. "How can we sleep with our seed-encrusted dakimakura body pillow at night knowing that this baka casual is killing our scene with his attractive, welcoming attitude using the games and characters I play and masturbate to? What am I supposed to tell the waifu? The childru?"

This piece of trash has been making a successful living with his honest work ethic, positivity, and desire to open up the scene to gaijin devils who are unfamiliar of our sacred anime culture, while true anime players are reduced to consuming nothing but cup ramen from Seben-Ereben. But no longer. Max and his adorable dog's days are numbered.

FGCNN has found damning evidence of his maliciousness towards the anime community and possibly humanity itself which we presented to Our Glorious Leader and Anime Illuminati founder, "Jiyuna", of Max's sister hand-groping the senpai playboy, Ryan "Gootecks" Gutierrez on a beach.



After careful review of the photo, Jiyuna exploded: "HOW COULD [Christiansen] NOT WANT TO BANG HIS HOT IMOUTO (sister)?! IS HE YAOI BOYLOVE OR SOMETHING?" The outcry freed from deep within Jiyuna's Guts baited us to Burst into tears, leaving our spirits Guard Crushed. But he courageously pressed forward with the interview so that others might know the atrocities of this self employed, money-making monster/loving husband.

"We've started a campaign to stop him and his legion of happy fans from enjoying our low-selling games and flooding our empty online match lobbies. He will soon know and elpheel what we have always Elphelt... shame and ostracism!"



And we at FGCNN completely agree. Stop Maximillian by messaging him - which for now is only possible by subscribing to his channel and including your message in a donation note - and let him know the anime gaming scene is only for those who earned it by not taking showers, losing at the more difficult mainstream games and begging EVO for main stage exposure of games nobody plays year after year. 

Will Mr. Christiansen ever be stopped? Who is best waifu? Tell us in a haiku below!

WALNUT, CA — Months after a massive coup which resulted in Triforce Johnson fleeing the country for his safety, Mike Watson has officially replaced Mr. Johnson as Supreme Manchild, a position which includes such duties as making the FGC look socially regressive and exploiting it for personal and financial gain.

While many are uncertain as to whether Mr. Watson can maintain the “leadership” that Mr. Johnson provided while in office, the consensus remains that, by participating in petty online arguments and purchasing expensive toilets on rented property, Mr. Watson is primed to tightly fill the sandy shoes of his predecessor.

“With [Mr. Johnson] gone, the community had nobody in which to direct our hatred” said BrolysThirdLeg, a professional r/kappa user. “People in the subreddit just spewed hatred to anyone who spoke. It was pure anarchy. But now with [Mike Watson] behaving with the class and intelligence of people literally half his age, the community can return to its days of glory!”

LEFT: A helpful matrix of leadership skills (click to enlarge)

Some critics think that Mr. Watson may not have what it takes to maintain the position. “If [Mike Watson] sticks to throwing decent tournaments and keeps his big mouth shut, he might be forced out of office.” remarked ChefBoyardee_BowlOfSoul, a fighting game community analyst and evangelical atheist.

Mr. Watson is expected to give a low-budget press conference later this week, but only if 10 people subscribe to his channel on Twitch.tv. When questioned for further details, Mr. Watson challenged FGCNN correspondents to a fist fizzzight in the Super Arcade parking lot.

What do you think? Will Mr. Watson deliver on his promise to provide the FGC with hours of entertainment through internet thuggery? Or will he be intimidated by screen captures of user's bank accounts? Let us know in the comments below!

SAN FRANCISCO - Riding the wave of his successful head-banging performance at Capcom Cup 2014 as well as the "success" of his most recent FGC themed game Stick Chucker, world famous face DJ and game designer A_Rival, has announced his latest game DJ iPAD Headnika, exclusively for the iPad.

In a recent interview with FGCNN, A_Rival discussed his vision of music and gaming. "I wanted others to feel what it's like to be a professional world-class iDJ, and with Headnika, you'll soon be playing the hottest hits in fighting game music with your skull."

LEFT: Marcus, 23, after a closed public demo of Headnika. "It's like the shards of glass are in 3D!"

In the ambulance ride over to the emergency room after a "dope concussion session" at his music studio, FGCNN was invited to a private demo of his game. Beautiful imagery, live video and colorful graphics compliment the blood that shoots out of every cranial orifice when crushing your head to the beat.



The controls are straight-forward; A colored icon appears on screen, and once the glowing bar hovers over an icon, the player must Dirty Buffalo the iPad as hard as possible. The bigger the impact, the more points and intracranial hemorrhaging the player receives.


"It's difficult at times, like when there are two red icons to hit. The game really shows you how hard it is for real DJs like me.", A_Rival remarked. We then dove head-first into the next song.

A_Rival explains, "Even though the head smashing is simple to grasp, it's still a competitive game." When asked the question if competitive smashing led to irreparable brain damage, A_Rival responded "Yes, but Nintendo is doing the best they can."

A_Rival plans to release branded accessories such as bite-guards for protecting your tongue during the inevitable seizures, as well as replacement touchscreen glass kits for iPads.

What do you think? Will DJ iPAD Headnika be the iOS smash hit of the new year? Will people be able to handle the mindgames of DJ iPAD Headnika? Let us know in the comments below.